Want to touch my monkey?

You know you want to….

Sewed the eyes on this little beee-yotch tonight. He looks spectacular. The boys both want one, so looks like I’m going to be working on some more monkeys.

He turned out pretty well. I had to improvise sewing up his hiney, because the pattern wasn’t too specific about it. It also took more than one skein of yarn for me. I went with 5/8 buttons, too, instead of 3/4 buttons. No reason…I just liked ’em that way.

I’m still trying to decide if he needs a scarf. I’m not sure it’s worth the extra effort, but we’ll see. I’m thinking about ordering some monkey wrapping paper for him. I’d like to cover a box with this wrapping paper. I think is funky and fun…plus my coworker says she has a thing for monkeys. Well really. who doesn’t?


PS – If you don’t recognize Dieter from SNL up there, well, you probably just shouldn’t be here. That’s how I like to think of Mike Meyers…pre-Shrek, pre guru of love or whatever the hell that schlock is that he’s in right now…c’mon Mike! You’re better than that!

Edited: I fiddled a bit with the pictures. The lighting was pretty poor when I took these…


This g-d washcloth. Now with monkey tease!

See this picture? Doesn’t the washcloth look great so far? Aren’t the loops perfect? The color, so nice?

Yeah! This is the picture I took right before I frogged it. Three times. Two because I wasn’t creating the loops right and they’d unravel when I’d get to the wrong side (never a good idea to skip 2 solid lines of instructions). Speaking of not reading directions…do you remember doing the activity in grade school where your teacher would say 15 times, “Be sure you read ALL of the directions first?” And you’d meticulously go through each step of the directions and create some lame-ass picture and be so proud you read EVERY SINGLE DIRECTION CAREFULLY AND COMPLETELY…until you got to the end where it said, “Don’t do any of steps X – X.” So you were supposed to¬† turn in a blank sheet of paper? Remember those? I f-ing hated those. Maybe because THEY GOT ME EVERY TIME.

I frogged the washcloth the third time because after I’d knit 6 rows, I realized the washcloth would be perfect…if my children were the size of Barbie dolls. Seriously. I am going to tell you now – I hate to swatch. Knit 16 rows so I can MEASURE IT? Are you kidding? Of courses, I’ve knit about 30 so far and am now on row 2 of my fourth attempt, so….so whatever. I’m not swatching until I have to.

I ended up doubling the cast-on from 24 to 48. I think it’s going to be the perfect size for scrubba-dubbing in the tub with the boys.


PS. Here’s some monkey tease.

He’s not looking at the camera because he’s shy. AND HE HAS NO EYES! He’s one scary mo’ fo’ right now. Maybe tomorrow I will drag my happy ass to the store for some buttons. Or maybe my coworker’s baby will like a monkey with no eyes. I’m sure that will cause absolutely no damage to the child. (Hey, look at me! Damaging OTHER people’s children for once!)

PPS. My oldest, The Dude, wants a monkey now. So we’re going to pick out some yarn….

One little monkey jumpin’ on the bed.

So close to being finished with the monkey. I finished the body (finally!) and head.

The smaller parts knit up much more quickly.

My youngest, Giant Baby, decided to “help” me with my monkey shots. Here’s where the ear is supposed to go:

Monkey is not pleased.

His mouth looks kind of fierce here…and not in the Christian Siriano kind of way. He looks fierce in an “I’m going to bite you” kind of way. When I was overcasting the two muzzle pieces together, I don’t think I pulled them tight enough – the overcast stitches are showing. And look like teeth! I think once I backstitch his mouth on there Chuckles will look a lot nicer. Either that, or his name will be ironic. Because I am a genius, people!

Chuckles is probably just pissed because he’s got one leg, no arms and no tail. And he’s in parts. And he has no stuffin’. Did I really think I was almost finished. Blergh.

I’m working on his second leg, and I’m pleased with how his first one came out:

Pretty shapely gam this guy has. He can probably wear skinny jeans and look fantastic in them. Bastard.


Work in progress.

I’ve started on Chuckles the Monkey for my coworker. I’m not going to go with the traditional sock monkey look. Instead, I’m using a chocolate brown and tan – more of a regular monkey kind of look.

I’m using Bernat Cashmere Natural Blends for this guy. I chose it because it is soft and relatively cheap. I know there are people out there that hate on acrylic, but it’s a toy. And even it it wasn’t…I don’t be hatin’ on anything. Or anyone. Knit whatever you want, with whatever you want.

Back to the lecture at hand. The pattern calls for you to use US size 3 needles and sew up a bunch o’ seams, but I am SO over sewing up seams. Instead, I’m using my KnitPicks DPNs. I’ve already told you how much I love these needles.

Each piece is stockinette. Do you know what that means? No purling for me – I’m knitting in the round! Woohoo! I’m about halfway done with the body here.

That is some fine craftsmanship. Nice, even rows. For once. One more gratuitous needle shot:

Hello, sweets. What? What’s that you say? You’d like me to work you over a bit? Knit just a few more rows? Anything for you, darlings…


A peck of patterns. Or a passel of patterns. Or just a bunch of patterns.

A coworker of mine is having a baby at the end of May. She loved the preemie hats, and by the way she was eyeballing them and her own swollen belly, I could tell she wanted one of her own. After looking at pattern after pattern of non-gender specific (or NGS) hats, I decided to go a different route.

I am making my first knitted toy. Let’s just let that rattle around our brains a bit. NEW STUFF TO KNIT! My coworker painted the baby’s room yellow and stenciled two huge, white trees on the wall. Very PBK – in fact, that’s where she got the inspiration. The valances are made of this cutie pie monkey print. See if you can guess what I’m going to make.

That’s right. I decided on a pig.

No, you douchebag, A MONKEY!!!

Because I have a problem, I needed it to be the perfect monkey. Sock monkeys are either loved or hated. I checked out Toy Knits by Debbie Bliss. Her monkey was a little too realistic. I scoured the internet and only found one likely candidate. This monkey was good…but the pattern was too vague and the picture tiny. How the hell are you supposed to figure out how to put these things together?

Finally, though, I settled on this little guy from YvonneKnits off of Etsy:

I’ve already named him Chuckles.