POF – pile o’ frog.

I’ve been avoiding something for awhile now:

This big pile of froggin’ for me to do. What you see is the evidence of one of my many failed attempts to do something with orange yarn. SOMETHING. I found a pattern that called for knitting up equal squares and piecing them together. Except these are clearly NOT squares and, well, let’s just say that even in that sea of orange I can pick out the rough patches. Yikes. So now I have to decidedly NOT knit and frog all of these squares. Or maybe I can ignore them and continue to knit with the little bit that I still have. Or buy more! Or just freakin’ frog the suckers already…sigh…

-dk

I am a blogging failure.

It’s May 4th. And I already missed the mark with this whole posting once a day thing for 31 days.

I have now set a new goal – 31 total posts in 31 days. That means that if I wanted to post once now and have 30 posts on May 31st, that would be OK. I know, it’s not the intent of the NaBloPoMo project, but apparently I need to ease into that kind of commitment. Who knew? Most people I know tell me I have too much to say. Give me a writing project….and I have nothing.

-dk

If at first you don’t succeed…

Take a valium and take a nap. Oh, I know that’s not the way to face my problems. I KNOW. But it’s so easy!

I am going to try this whole NaBloPoMo thing ONE MORE TIME.  I’m going to do it. I’m not going to say that everything that I write will be relevant, witty or worth anything, but hey, I’ll get to keep that little badge on my blog. And it’s pretty. And I like it. So there.

-dk

You messed up. So who cares?

I make mistakes all the time in my knitting. All. The. Time. Purling when I should have knit, losing track of the number of rows…There are people out there that might lose their shit over this. I am not one of them.

I read on another blog or in a knitting book to just “knit through it.” I love this concept. If you make a mistake that will not be noticed by anyone but yourself, knit through it. Make some adjustments in the next few rows. Just keep moving. Those little flaws will be seen by no one. In fact, most people will still marvel at your skillzzz. They don’t care if you have a tiny little hole where you did a yarn over when you weren’t supposed to or there’s a purl bump in your stockinette. Only you see it and pick at it, stress about it…so just let it go, Grasshopper. It is an insignificant thing.

On the flip side of knitting through something, I think it takes awhile to be confident enough in your knitting to frog it back to fix a mistake. PURPOSELY drop a stitch to fix something you missed a few rows before. I remember the first time I did this – I was slightly terrified of dropping the stitch and ruining hours upon hours of work. Then I realized that it was JUST KNITTING. Just knitting. And almost everything could be fixed, even if it meant starting from scratch.

I think I need to apply these two concepts to my life a little more often. I have a tendency to stress over small mistakes made, particularly at work, to the point of obsessiveness. I disagreed with my boss today and felt like it wasn’t received well (I wasn’t disrespectful, we just disagreed). I replayed the moment over and over and over again…by the end of the day I felt pretty confident I would be fired. Because I disagreed that all sentences in web copy should be short. Because that is a thing to be fired over. Um, I’m thinking I just need to knit through it…you know, it was a little bump. We disagreed. The reality is that I am the only one participant that remembered or cared about that conversation even 20 minutes after it was over. My boss saw it as a difference of opinion. But *I* have to get to the point where I realize that these are tiny things – that my contributions to my company far outweigh anything else. And that hopefully people are more dazzled by rights than grumbling about my wrongs.

Or maybe I get fired tomorrow over sentence length. Eh, at least I’ll have more time to knit. And holy crap, watch Beverly Hills, 9010 (Soap Net! Every day!)

-dk

That just about sums me up.

Someone came to my blog today through the search engine terms “x-rated knitting needles.” Do you even understand how that made me feel?

PROUD, people. PROUD.

-dk

Yarn zen.

I’ve always had a problem with crafts. I become a crazed, obsessive person, trying to purchase every tool, storage unit and item necessary for the craft. I’d work with it intensely for a few weeks, then it would fade away.

Knitting hasn’t really been that way for me. I’m still obsessive, yes, but it’s been a different kind of obsession. A winding down of my day. A getaway during lunch. A distraction during long car rides. It’s no different than some of my other crafty indulgences, except that I seem to get more satisfaction out of working and completing projects.

I like the feel of the yarn in my hands, the formation of the piece step by step, until the product is RIGHT THERE, in front of me, done. I like the click of the needles. Choosing the project. Deciding which yarn to use. Even frogging and redoing holds some appeal. I like that it can be un- and re-done. You can easily fix your mistakes. Or knit through it, not worrying about the tiny things that no one knows or cares about except you. I can knit something flawless or something full of flaws and love it just the same. Every time I learn something new, decode part of a pattern or tackle something different, I feel strangely powerful. From holding two sticks together and knotting some string. I think it is because there are so many moments in my day where I just don’t feel right. Where I should/could/can do a better job at my job, at being a mother, at being a wife. I beat myself up for not being good enough while beating myself up for not trying hard enough  while beating myself up for beating myself up. But when I knit…it’s just me and that piece of yarn, makin’ somehin’.

It also doesn’t hurt that people are amazed at what I’m doing…because I AM an attention whore, you know.

-dk

You know that feeling?

You know how you feel when you find a $20 bill in your pocket in a pair of pants you haven’t worn in awhile?

I felt like that today when I remembered I had a whole bag o’ stuffin’ in my junk closet.

Yeah – I’m that cool.

-dk