I know you wanna be like me.

When I’m knitting around other people, they invariably ask one of two things:

1. What are you making?

2. How did you learn to knit?

They also blather on about how amazing I am, how creative, talented, blah blah blah…but I won’t bore you with those details. Instead, I’ll bore you with the details of how I got started in the business.

Knitting for me started about six years ago. When I was pregnant with J, my oldest, I was wandering around Michael’s. It is never good for me to wander around craft stores. I have a tendency to see something amazing and latch on to it, buy every accessory and tool made, work on this new hobby for 2 weeks and then quit. (See: jewelry making, embroidery, cross-stitch, sewing). When I waddled into the knitting aisle, my eyes lit up. But how was I going to learn? People, THIS is how I learned:

I taught myself knitting! WOOT! This book came in a kit – the book, needles, stitch markers, tapestry needle, cable knit needle, needle caps, ruler/measuring tool thingy and counter. For $17. It was mine. I picked up a ball of cheap, yellow acrylic yarn and took it home with me. The book is actually pretty easy to follow, and until I got my Stitch ‘n Bitch book, was still my reference guide.

It’s interesting how I wasn’t put off by the pictures on the front and back covers. In fact, I was really interested in their lives. How did they get here? Where were they now? I imagined they had a 90210 kind of life:

This is Cassandra. She is super stoked about her pink sleeveless sweater. With her shell necklace. Look at her, ready to face the world! Here are Cassie’s friends:

Kelly is wearing the yellow sweater. She’s spunky and mouthy. (She usually gets all the great lines, but not the boys). And here comes Cammie! Cammie is the dumb girl in the group. She’s also the gum chewer. AND she is totally, like, rocking out that pink turtleneck. I don’t know what the actual definition of a shaker sweater is, but I’d venture a guess this is pretty close. I would have been sporting something very similar in 8th grade. (PS – If you are too young to remember the 80s…well, you probably should leave now. I heart the 80s). Cassie, Kelly and Cammie do their best to avoid Cassie’s next door neighbor, Rob:

You crazy girls! Wanna have a kegger? Rob…. stop it! You made Cassie sad:

I would have hated Cassie in jr. high. Look at her hair! IT’S AQUATASTIC! But why so bummed, Cassie? Did your boyfriend Mike give you an STD? Or maybe she’s sad her little sister is wearing such a hideous sweater:

These sweaters are simply craptastic. And all in this little knitting book!

If you want to teach yourself to knit, grab a cheap pair of #10 needles and a cheap ball of yarn. Google “Learn to knit”. There are thousands of sites and videos…I use the hell out of them when I’m trying to figure out a new technique. If you fall in love with knitting, I heart the Stitch ‘N Bitch book. It’s irreverent, fun and really explains things well. The patterns are funky, and there’s a wide variety of things to try. I LOVE the Big Bad Baby Blanket…easy to do but looks complicated.

Or, go to Michael’s. Buy the I TAUGHT MYSELF KNITTING kit. Cassie will thank you.

-dk

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